Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
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