i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦🏼♀️
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
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