yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
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