Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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