i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
how drunk are you?
Several
Randomize