Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
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