bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
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