I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
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