when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
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