She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
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