but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
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