I am puke
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
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