Hey man sorry I got all grabby
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
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