why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize