if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
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