Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
why is half of my head shaved?
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
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