you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
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