Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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