Well douche your snatch and let's go!
I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
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