you didnt know i had herpes?
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize