before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
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