you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
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