just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
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