happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
zippers are such a cool invention
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
We had to coat check the pizza.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
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