his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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