My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
Randomize