he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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