you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
Randomize