So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
How did I end up in the pool?!
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On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
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