but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
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