dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
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