I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
Randomize