Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
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