I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
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He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
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i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
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