saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
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is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
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I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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