Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
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im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
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I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
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