So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize