i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Randomize