So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
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