I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
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