There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize