you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
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