See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
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