My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
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