ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize