I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
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The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
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Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
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