On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
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