That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
I have aggressive nipples.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
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