She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
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