Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize